It snowed last night.”She must have looked out her window, “I’ll say it snowed.”“And still coming,” I said.“I’ll catch the bus.” She called the driver and told him she needed a ride. “What are you doing?”“Feeding John’s cows.”“Huh?”“Horse kicked him.”“Stay warm.”John had bought a new old truck ... a 1961 4X4 Chevrolet C-60 that had been a dump truck but was now a long wide pickup with a Detroit diesel, a six speed trans and a two speed rear axle.On the way out to the barn, I asked, “John going to be alright?”“I hope so ... I didn’t think I was ever going to get married until he came along. He likes big women and I like his big ... you know what I mean.” She was blushing. We got to the barn and she went inside and pretty soon I was damn near knocked silly by a bale.To load it, I stacked hay bales two wide in the bed until bales stuck out the back but were still on the open tailgate. Then I loaded bales, one right, one left, the long way against the cab. I stacked until I was a whole. It had survived for this moment, as day touched earth, as we touched eachother. We were our morning fields, and after we came back to our bed,after the bathroom, we held each other as though we were morning lights.All the ones that had come before and all the ones that had come since.And if we sexed, it was ballet, and it was sighs far more than size, andit was hands that knew the temperature of a pulse, that knew thecommingled rhythms of hearts. And we loved because we were lovely, and ifwe were not models for Vogue or GQ, we were perfection for ourselves, andour legs touched and our legs leaf folded together and we fell into thegraciousness of each other's arms. And we spotlighted each other's eyessoft and sleep filled still, with our own. We were nothing without eachother.As our penises hardened, and our balls tightened. We were envelopes oflove for each other and of each other still. Some people wait for emailor the post or a phone ringing or a door bell chiming and they wait.
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